Of course, you know this by now. Michael Jackson died today (the 25th has half an hour left as I write this), possibly from cardiac arrest. He was regarded as the King of Pop by lots of people, but – let’s be honest – I wasn’t really one of them. I’m gonna tell you my thoughts on the man’s passing, but I’m not gonna bullshit ya.
Here are the things I thought when I found out Michael Jackson was dead: I was surprised because he was only fifty years old, then I thought of some jokes that I won’t tell you, then I thought about how it was nearly a year ago that my sister died and I thought of what MJ’s siblings must be going through right now. For those of you who think I have a heart of stone, you might be right, but nonetheless, it goes out to the dude’s family. Then I watched throngs of people get hysterical for the TV cameras and I thought, “Well, I was really sad when Kurt Vonnegut and George Carlin died” (which is true – cried in both cases and I’m not ashamed to admit it) so I didn’t want to mock people’s pain at losing one of their cultural heroes. Until I realized that these people, in their overwhelming despair, left their homes and sought out TV cameras in front of which to mourn. Then I remembered I live in L.A. – to some people, no time is a bad time to be seen.
Over the next few days, people are gonna rehash Jackson’s life until you wanna puke, but here at Bollocks!, we’re all about the music. So I’m gonna say something that might shock some of my readers: I have a lot of respect for Michael Jackson musically. 90% of his creative output is solidy Not My Cup of Tea, but he was damn good at what he did and, though he spawned a billion really awful imitators, none ever came close to his musical achievements.
And then there’s Thriller. Thriller represents the 10% of his creative output that is Surprisingly My Cup of Tea Exactly (note: percentages are pulled out of my ass with no respect for reality), not counting the duet with Paul McCartney. So as we remember Michael Jackson and people talk about what a weirdo he was, I’ll give all that a pass and say that, when it comes to the music, Michael Jackson was certainly a one of a kind talent and Thriller is the proof. I have fond memories of playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, rolling around fake Florida and killin’ guys while “Billie Jean” blasted on the car stereo. That’s the kind of memory I have of Michael Jackson’s music, and the kind you’ll only find on the really good blogs.