Clash of the Shitty Titans: Joe Satriani Sues Coldplay

If Bollocks! were a web comic about music it is entirely possible that I would come up with a storyline where a band I don’t like is sued for ripping off another band I don’t like. Like, ha-ha-ha, if Nickelback sued Coldplay for ripping off a song or something, ha-ha-ha. In the comic, the judge would rule that they have to fight to the death and whoever is left standing is crowned the Shittiest Rock Band in the World.

Well, Bollocks! isn’t a web comic (and you should be grateful – my drawing makes XKCD look like Leonardo Da Vinci) so I can’t really provide that kind of hilarity. Fortunately, reality has stepped up to the plate and given us the news that Joe Satriani filed a lawsuit in Los Angeles against Coldplay, claiming their shitty song “Viva La Vida” contains substantial portions of his shitty song “If I Could Fly.” If I were DJ Danger Mouse, I would mash these songs together and call it “If I Could Die Laughing.”

You can find a YouTube video comparing the two songs and the melodies are certainly similar, but for my money, it’s probably just coincidence. I mean, have you heard the guitar-playing on Coldplay albums? There’s no way they listen to Joe Satriani.

Not that I’m defending Coldplay on this one – if they could both lose this lawsuit and be restricted from making music, I’d be a happy guy. Or maybe they’ll end it like my imaginary comic.

Hilarity en-sues!


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