Look, I’m not gonna review a Metallica album on this site because Metallica… well, they fucking suck. Do you hear me, Metallica? You guys cannot even play. You suck so bad that future generations will think you’re a joke band like Spinal Tap. Seriously, fuck you guys.
Apparently, Metallica, whose disdain for any fans they have left is palpable, invited bloggers to a listening party and then got their metallic panties all in a bunch when a blogger (gasp!) blogged about the album. Apparently, said blogger was high because they said something about the album being a “return to form.” I’m guessing the blogger (from a Brit blog called Quietus) was not thinking of the form of a “steaming monkey turd,” but we may never know because Douche-tallica raised a stink and got the dude’s blog taken down.
That’s right, kids. Metallica is the George W. Bush of music. So let’s put democracy in action. If you read this blog between now and July 4th, hit me with a comment to this post and pledge your undying hatred of all things Metallica. It’s called the Bollocks! Fuck Metallica Pledge. Let’s take a stand for fans of good music and the internet. Your comment can be as chock full of Metallica-hate as you want (I won’t censor you), but at the very least, your comment should read “Fuck Metallica.” Tell your friends! If enough people sign the pledge, I’ll post it on Metallica’s message board on their website.