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Archive for category The Wrought Stuff
Shortest Bollocks! Review Ever
Posted by Chorpenning in Annoying Vocal Effects, Boy-Boners for Bono, British!, Chronic Histrionics, Edgar Allan Poetic, Friday I'm Selling This Album Back at Second Spin, Gobbledigook, Lars Ulrich is a Shitty Drummer, Miserabilia, Mope on a Rope, Not As Awesome As Don DeLillo, Offensively Less Cool than Kurt Vonnegut, Old Guys, Pop, Pretension Unbound, Shit Sandwich, Suck-cint!, The Wrought Stuff on November 18, 2008
Recently, we here at Bollocks!were accused of creating (and foisting upon an unsuspecting public) “overwrought prose.”And by “we”, I mean “me”.
So in an effort to be less overwrought (more underwrought, or just wrought, I guess), I thought I’d sum up 4:13 Dream, the new Cure album, as succinctly as possible:
This album is a fucking mess.
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Taxonomy
- "A" for "Asshole" (3)
- "A" for Ethos (72)
- "Inconquerable" is Not a Word (2)
- (Hemorrh)ages of You (1)
- (My Career) Fell On Black Days (4)
- 1234 I Declare Music War (4)
- 22757926 (1)
- 2nd Ever Radical Edward Reference (1)
- 50 Cent is a Shitty Rapper (4)
- 72 to Zero Motherfuckers! (1)
- 8th Grade Dance Awkward (1)
- A Bit of a Lull (1)
- A Case of Flash Delerium (1)
- A Case of the Warm and Fuzzies (1)
- A Continued Non-Deviation from Form (1)
- A Great Example to the Dogs (2)
- A Little Bit Bee Gees (1)
- A Little Thank You Note (1)
- A Look Under the Patterson Hood (1)
- A Minor Music Blogging Concern (1)
- A Modest (Mouse) Proposal (1)
- A Question of How to Age Gracefully (2)
- A Record of How I Felt Then (2)
- A Riad is a Moroccan Garden (2)
- A Spoonful Weighs A Ton (5)
- A Train I Missed (1)
- Achy Breaking News (1)
- Acousti-troubadors (2)
- Actually Pretty Lovely (18)
- Aging (Dis)Gracefully (10)
- Alarmingly Consistent (12)
- Alberta Milk Hotel (1)
- Alcoholic Stepdad Rock (1)
- All Filler No Killer (1)
- All Girl Action (8)
- All My Friends Are James Murphy (4)
- All the Good Things About Stoner Rock (1)
- All the Win is All for You (3)
- All the Wine is All for Me (1)
- Almost Annoyingly Beautiful (1)
- Almost Exactly As Cool As Joe Strummer (6)
- Ambitious Awesomeness (15)
- Ambitious Douchebaggery (17)
- Animal Collectives are Actually Just Packs (1)
- Annoying Vocal Effects (15)
- Annoyingly Misspelled Song Titles (5)
- Anthems for a 27 Year Old Girl? (4)
- Anti-Sheen (1)
- Apparently Unambitious Awesomeness (1)
- Apples & Oranges (3)
- apples vs. mock oranges (1)
- April Fool's Day (1)
- Argument Clinic (1)
- Ask A Musical Pathologist (3)
- Asking for Trouble (1)
- Ass-Shaking Good Times (2)
- At My Beck and Call (1)
- At Their Most Beautiful (1)
- Atmosphere Kills Killers in Battle of Bands (1)
- Attici? (1)
- Audio Atrocity is My Throbbing Gristle Cover Band (1)
- Auditory Adolescence (1)
- Auditory Terrorism (2)
- Auto-Tune Is Always Terrible (1)
- Awaken Your Rocktoberfest Nature (2)
- Awesome Acts of Charity (3)
- Awesome Drum-Propelled Noise Orgy (2)
- Awesome in a 70s Way (2)
- Awesome New Music (43)
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- Backlash? (2)
- Bad News (2)
- Badass Vocals (2)
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- Banshee Wailing Bullshit (1)
- Bar Band (2)
- Batshit Crazy Beautiful Music (1)
- Battle Hymns (3)
- Be My Head and I'll Be Yours (2)
- Bearably Arbitrary (1)
- Beautifully Ugly (10)
- Because There's 40 Different Shades of Black (5)
- Best Background Vocalist Ever (2)
- Better than Hanson (2)
- Better Than Yanni (2)
- Beware the Fanboys (1)
- Big and Emotional (7)
- Big Rock Record (3)
- Big Year in Music (1)
- Billy Corgan is a Massive Douche (8)
- Black Girls Rock (1)
- Blaming for Columbine (1)
- Blips and Bleeps (3)
- Blows to My Self-Esteem (1)
- Blues for White People Who Hate Black People (1)
- Bob Jones University Frat Rock (2)
- Boner for Billy Corgan (1)
- Boners for Bono (1)
- Boners of Instant Gratification (1)
- Boy-Boners for Bono (3)
- Brainy Pop (6)
- Brevity is the Soul of Awesome (2)
- Brevity is the Soul of Pop (3)
- Brick Stupid and Beautiful (2)
- British! (16)
- broken-ass music (18)
- Broodier Coldplay (1)
- Broody But Not Emo (3)
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- Built Like That (1)
- Buy Yourself a Sequencer and Let the Games Begin (2)
- Can't Believe I've Never Said "Cum Dumpster" on Here Before (1)
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- Capitalization Abuse (1)
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- Christian Douchebaggery (2)
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- Classical Gas (1)
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- Compromise Album (2)
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- Contact High (7)
- Contest! (1)
- Corporate Blues Suck (4)
- Corporate Rock Sucks (8)
- Craig Finn Reads Walt Whitman?! (1)
- Creative Pronouns (1)
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- Critical Knicker-Twisting (2)
- Critical Mass of Assholes (2)
- Cult Classic? (2)
- Cultural Insensitivity Toward Latin American Canines (1)
- Dance Anthem of the 80s (2)
- Danger Mouse (6)
- Dave What Are You Doing Dave? (1)
- Dead Guy Week (1)
- Dead Sunshine of Your Love (2)
- Definitely Frat Rock (or RAWK!) (6)
- Deliciously New School? (1)
- Deliciously Old School (38)
- Destination Unknown (6)
- Diagnosing Hipster Tendencies (1)
- Dick Move (1)
- Didn't You Used to Be Bob Dylan? (1)
- Didn't These Guys Used to Be Awesome? (5)
- Die In A Fire (3)
- Disappointment Train (1)
- Dissolver? I Hardly Know Her! (2)
- Divorce-Rock (1)
- Do the Mathematics (1)
- Doing Battle with the Gods (1)
- Don't Call It a Side Project (1)
- Don't Forget the Cartoon Characters (1)
- Don't Quit Your Day Job (1)
- Don't Save Me from What I Want (2)
- Don't Be a Chump (1)
- Don't Call It Nothing (1)
- Don't Feed the Litigious Assholes (5)
- Don't Say Genre (1)
- Double Dare Ya (2)
- Down with the Sic-ness (1)
- Dripping Wet with Alchemy (5)
- Drummer's Drummer Is Not a Shitty Drummer (1)
- Drunk in Private (3)
- Dubious Claims About the Invention of Dubstep (1)
- Ear Candy (2)
- Eden-Loaf (1)
- Edgar Allan Poetic (3)
- Edith Piaf Reference (1)
- Eels-esque (1)
- Electric Fucking Cello (1)
- Elitism Vs. Fascism (2)
- EMI is the Root of All Evil (4)
- Emily Haines is a Goddess (1)
- Empty Musical Calories (1)
- Endearingly Pretentious (1)
- Essential Music (2)
- Evangelical Lycanthropy (1)
- Evangelical Tramp Stamps (1)
- Ever Since I Put Your Picture in a Frame (1)
- Every Ologist (1)
- Expectations Test (2)
- Face-Melting Guitar Solos (7)
- Fan Service (2)
- Fancy Book Learning (2)
- Fear of Commitment (1)
- Feel It in the People Where It's Warm and Great (4)
- Feel the Promise of Our Pounding Drums (22)
- Feel the Promise of Our Programmed Drums (3)
- Fess Up Time (1)
- Finest Hour (5)
- First Ever Radical Edward Reference (1)
- Fish in a Barrel (7)
- Flava Flav is Still Ridiculous (1)
- Foam-Injected Axl Rose (5)
- Folkish Music (12)
- Footnote Abuse! (1)
- For Colored Girls Who Have Tried the Record Industry (1)
- Form a Line to the Throne (1)
- Frat "Blues" (1)
- Frat Indie Rock (3)
- Free Isn't Always a Very Good Price (1)
- Free Rice (1)
- Friday I'm Selling This Album Back at Second Spin (4)
- Friends in High Places (1)
- Frightfully Dull Bullshit (3)
- From Blown Speakers (1)
- Frontiers in Righteousness (27)
- Frontiers in Self-Righteousness (2)
- Fuck Aerosmith (3)
- Fuck Kiss (3)
- Fuck Napster! (2)
- Fuck Ted Nugent (3)
- Fuck that Volcano! (1)
- Fuck the Bee Gees (4)
- Fuck the Children! (1)
- Fuck the Sun (1)
- Fuck These Jerks (6)
- Fuck This Band (7)
- Fuck This Guy (3)
- Fuck You if You Really Think It Doesn't Matter Anymore (1)
- Fuck You Mariah Carey (1)
- Fuck-Rock (1)
- Fuckin' "A" for Ethos (2)
- Fucking Beautiful (3)
- Fucking Miracles (1)
- Full of Light and Full of Fire (54)
- Fun and That's About It (1)
- Fun! (42)
- Funk Soul Godfather (1)
- Future Music of the Past (5)
- Genre Hopping (8)
- Get Behind the Mule (2)
- Get Your Leather On (3)
- Gifted Rich White People (1)
- Go Back to Those Gold Soundz (7)
- Gobbledigook (4)
- God Dammit (3)
- God Save the Queen (1)
- Goddammit DO Something! (1)
- Golden Teeth and Silver Medals (1)
- Good Country (9)
- Good Drumming (1)
- Good Jazz? (1)
- Good News for People Who Like Good Music (3)
- Good Ol' Boredom? (1)
- Good Songs About Religion (1)
- Good Stuff for Brian Green's I-Pod (1)
- Grammy Logic (2)
- Grand Theft Bollocks! (1)
- Gratuitous Shakespeare Reference (1)
- Greasy Kid Stuff (3)
- Great Expectations (1)
- Great Funking Album (1)
- Greatest Lost Track of All Time (3)
- Guided by the Voice of Guided By Voices (1)
- Guitar Heroine! (2)
- Guitarded (6)
- Ha Ha Grey's Anatomy Sucks (1)
- Hairspray (1)
- Hamhazardly (1)
- Hang On to Yourself (1)
- Happy Misanthropy (3)
- Hardbore (3)
- Harmlessly Unlistenable (1)
- Harmonized Innuendo (1)
- He Thought He was the King of America (1)
- He Treats Objects Like Women (2)
- Head Full of Blood and a Heart Full of Song (1)
- Heaping Spoonful of Gravitas (2)
- Heavy Meh-tal (1)
- Heavy Petting (2)
- Help Save the Youth of America (13)
- Hendrixian! (1)
- Henry Rollins FTW (1)
- Her First Band Was Sleater-Kinney (1)
- Here We Are Now Et Cetera Et Cetera (1)
- Heroin is Bad for You (6)
- High Grade Musical Narcotic (3)
- High Lonesome Sounds (1)
- High Priestess of Soul (1)
- Hilariously Bad (3)
- Hilariously Breaking News (1)
- Hip-Hop (11)
- Hip-Hoppish (1)
- Hip-Pop (1)
- Hippie Cabaret (1)
- Hippies Love Ani DiFranco (1)
- His Doug is Martsching On (2)
- History Sticks to Your Feet (3)
- Holy Fuck the Black Eyed Peas Are Terrible (1)
- Holy Fuck! Alun Woodward is Awesome (2)
- Homme Rhymes with "Tommy" (1)
- How Glad I Am (1)
- How is Mark Everett Doing? (2)
- How to Be a Guitar Hero (5)
- How to Fight Loneliness (3)
- Hugging is a Sin? (1)
- Hush-Pop (1)
- Hyper-Pop (1)
- Hypnotize Your Stereo (1)
- I Already Know You're Wrong (5)
- I Always Dream of a Unified Scene (4)
- I Am Civil Service (1)
- I Am Trying to Break Your Heart (6)
- I Am What I Eat (1)
- I Believe in Waking Up Together (2)
- I Bet You Won't Hear TV On the Radio On the Radio (2)
- I Call That a Pickup Truck (1)
- I Can Change My Mind (1)
- I Can't Believe I Listened to the Hole Thing (1)
- I Dare Say! (1)
- I Declare the Harmonica is Useless Now (1)
- I Died for This? (1)
- I Don't Have the Drugs to Sort It Out (2)
- I Don't Like Some Things You Like (6)
- I Don't Like What You've Got Me Hanging From (1)
- I Drive a Killer Car (1)
- I Fucking Hate This Band (2)
- I Guess This is a Market-Based Approach? (1)
- I Guess We'll Just Have to Adjust (1)
- I Hate This Album More than I Thought (2)
- I Have An Open Mind (1)
- I Imagine You Quoting Chuck D (1)
- I Implore Jeff Mangum to Make More Music (3)
- I Kind of Also Love Ani DiFranco (1)
- I Kind of Like the Hold Steady (10)
- I Know About Baseball (1)
- I Know Fuckall About Cars (1)
- I Know the Fucking Enemy (1)
- I Like American Music (1)
- I Love Middle Cyclone (2)
- I Love the Aughties (1)
- I Love The National and I Don't Care Who Knows It (5)
- I May Be Limping but I'm Coming Home (1)
- I Miss the Mendoza Line (1)
- I Only Speak the Truth (7)
- I Passive-Aggressively Bait Jeff Mangum to Make More Music (1)
- I Probably Hate White People More than Common Does (1)
- I Really Don't Mind It (2)
- I Refuse to See What You Did There (1)
- I Rock On and On (2)
- I Saw the Light (2)
- I Say Awesome (4)
- I Say I Want a Resolution (1)
- I Should Be Doubly Gratified (2)
- I Should Fucking Hate This Album (3)
- I Spread the Gospel with My Gun (1)
- I Stood Up and I Said "Yeah" (4)
- I Swear to Dog This Is Not Emo (2)
- I Think A President Can Represent Me (1)
- I Think I Might've Heard This One Before (2)
- I Thought Wavves Would Sound Like This (1)
- I Took a Science Class (1)
- I Wanna Defy the Logic of Our Sex Gimmicks (1)
- I Wanna Grow Up to Be a Debaser (2)
- I Want to Miss A Lot of Things (1)
- I Was a High School Fag (1)
- I Will Dare (2)
- I Will Kill The Next Shitty Band To Rip Off The Clash (6)
- I'll Stop Ripping on Wavves When They Stop Sucking (9)
- I'm Gonna See My Friend & Make It Go Away (1)
- I'm Telling You: Joe Strummer was The Real Fucking Deal (3)
- I'd Bang Lance Bangs Too (1)
- I'd Rather Listen to Sonic Youth (3)
- I'll Stop Picking On John Mayer When He Stops Making Music (1)
- I'm a Discerning Listener (1)
- I'm Gonna Change Your Life (1)
- I'm More Atari (1)
- I'm Oh So Dumb to Fuck with You (1)
- If You Thought My Prose Was Overwrought (2)
- Ignore Me! (2)
- In the Mah-moud for Love (1)
- Indelible Melodies (2)
- Indie Blasphemy (2)
- Indie Guitar Gods (3)
- Indie Internet Intelligentsia (5)
- Indie-ana (1)
- Initial Excitement Followed By Stunning Disappointment (1)
- Innuendo is Innuendo (1)
- Insanely Beautiful (8)
- Insert M.I.A. Comparison Here (1)
- Insert My Sweet Lord Joke Here (1)
- Insert Prince Comparison Here (1)
- Irish and Not as Awesome as Guinness (1)
- Irrefutable Beauty (1)
- Is This Love Fucking Right? (1)
- Is This Trip-Hop? (1)
- Is This What People Mean When They Say "Twee"? (1)
- It May as Well Be There as Anywhere (2)
- It's Repetitive and Repetitive (2)
- It's Too Late to Fall in Love with Sharon Tate (2)
- It's Awesome! (5)
- It's Just Good (1)
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- Julian Dorio is Not a Shitty Drummer (2)
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- Kanye's Best (1)
- Kentucky-Fried Space Soul (4)
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- Kim Gordon Will Kick Your Ass (2)
- Know Who I Love? The Clash (5)
- Know Your Rights (2)
- Lars Ulrich is a Shitty Drummer (255)
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- Let's be Clear: Courtney Love is a Whore (5)
- Let's Not Confuse Boring With Beautiful (1)
- Let's Get Intellectual! (2)
- Liberal Use of the Word "Belly" (1)
- Life Is Not Like That At All (1)
- Like I Wanna Be Fair (2)
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- Low Expectations Met and Exceeded (1)
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- Mayhaw! (3)
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- medium rock (9)
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- Miserabilia (3)
- Moonbeam! (3)
- Mope on a Rope (7)
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- More Ways Joe Strummer is Awesome (3)
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- My Usual Flawless Logic (20)
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- Not as Awesome as Frightened Rabbit (1)
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- Not Not Yo La Tengo (2)
- Not Unbearably Emo (1)
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- Nothing to Say (1)
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- Outrageous Claims About Canine Nomenclature (1)
- Overuse of the Word "Gush" (1)
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- People Who Died (3)
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- Precisely as Great as the Sum of Its Parts (1)
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- Pretension Unbound (16)
- Pretty Good Rock Record (1)
- Pretty Pretty (1)
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- Privileged White Kid Sexy (1)
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- Ribot-esque (3)
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- rock (32)
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- Ruminations on the Transitory Nature of Fame (2)
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Nuts and Bolts
