My 13 Favorite Albums of 2009 13-6

Well, here we are in 2010, the year we make contact. For those of you who don’t know, a new federal law went into effect at midnight on New Year’s Day: if you hear any of your fellow citizens call this year “oh-ten”, it is legal to punch them in the face exactly one time.

Having safely seen 2009 out the door, I think it’s time to start talking shit about it. Everyone loves a list, especially one that doesn’t include Animal Collective or Phoenix, so I compiled a list of my 13 favorite albums of 2009. I don’t know if they’re the best albums of the year or not and I don’t care. They’re the ones I like the best and, honestly, I think that’s all anyone can say. Also, my list contains 14 albums (well, technically, 13 albums and an EP) because there was a tie. Anyway, feast yer eyes on this here list (helpfully rendered in a distinctly non-slide-show format):

13. Lord Cut-Glass, Lord Cut-Glass. I’ll just assume everyone knows that Lord Cut-Glass is really former Delgado Alun Woodward. And I know that my review of this record spent a good deal of time bitching about how the Delgados ought to just reunite, come to the U.S. and play shows in the courtyard of my apartment complex. But the fact remains that Lord Cut-Glass is a really beautiful record; Woodward lilts over plucked acoustic guitars and low brass, quietly issuing some of the best melodies of his career. Highlights include “Picasso,” “Even Jesus Couldn’t Love You,” “Holy Fuck,” “A Pulse” and “Big Time Teddy.”

12. Mike Doughty, Sad Man Happy Man. Last year, Doughty put out an album called Golden Delicious that I liked well enough at first. And then it kinda grew off of me with a stunning quickness. Just wasn’t feeling it, I guess. However, because I love Mike Doughty, I’m always willing to listen to his stuff. This year, he put out the superb Sad Man Happy Man, which I nabbed from Amazon’s digital store for five freaking bucks (gargle my balls, I-Tunes). SMHM is driven by Doughty’s chunky guitar strumming and absurd humor, and it’s my favorite album of his since Skittish (which has to be one of the most underrated albums I’ve ever heard). It opens with one of its best moments, “Nectarine (Part Two)” and also includes the coolest prayer ever (“Lord Lord Help Me Just to Rock Rock On”) and “Year of the Dog,” which might be Doughty’s best tune since “Sweet Lord in Heaven.”

11. Yeah Yeah Yeahs, It’s Blitz. 2009 was a great year for some of my favorite female vocalists, not least of whom is Karen O. of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Not only did I get to delight in an affordable deluxe edition of It’s Blitz! (Amazon’s mp3 store has not yet let me down in the cheap goodies department), but I got to see the Yeah Yeah Yeahs play a kickass set at Coachella (one of the best sets I saw at that festival). The album is filled with awesome turbo-pop (starting with a pair of aces in “Zero” and “Heads Will Roll”) and a few pretty ballads (“Hysteric” splits the difference between the two types of song and is, in two words, fucking awesome). It’s Blitz! firmly established the Yeah Yeah Yeahs as one of the best bands in America and their live shows will back that claim up for the doubters.

10. Brother Ali, Us. I could make a joke about how Brother Ali is the king of white rap (ha ha, because he’s an albino, ha ha), but, taking Us as exhibit A for the prosecution, it’s more accurate to place Ali near the top of the hip-hop heap, regardless of skin pigment. Jay-Z has never, in my estimation, done anything to rival  “Tightrope” or “The Travelers.” To my knowledge, he’s never even tried. With Us, Ali threw down a gauntlet of new rules for the hip-hop community, chief among them: no skits and fewer songs about how badass you are (Us has ‘em, but they’re matched pound for pound by songs of real substance and at least one tune wherein Ali shows gratitude for his good fortune, saying, “I’m the luckiest sonofabitch that ever lived”). Us is a truly refreshing album, and it stays fresh with every listen.

9. Camera Obscura, My Maudlin Career. Speaking of refreshing, Camera Obscura released one hell of an orchestral pop album last year. My Maudlin Career, despite its potentially emo-sounding name, starts and ends with a bang (“French Navy” and “Honey in the Sun”, respectively) – in between, Tracyanne Campbell drops lines like “when you’re lucid, you’re the sweetest thing” and “drinking has never been the same again”, the latter from the stellar, mournful ballad “Other Towns and Cities”. My Maudlin Career is so good that I think almost anyone who likes music will like it. But some people who like music like Wavves, so I could be wrong.

8. The Minus 5, Killingsworth. Killingsworth is the album that elevated Scott McCaughey from Person of Interest to Folk Hero in my estimation. It’s basically a dark country rock album, but it’s so fully realized and wittily rendered (“your wedding day was so well-planned/ like a German occupation”) that it cannot be denied. Backed by an excellent chorus of women, McCaughey sings of lurking barristers, broken love, and crowded urban apartment life (“Big Beat Up Moon”) with a drunken weariness that is deeply appealing to young curmudgeons like myself. He also takes the time to satirize fundamentalist Christianity on “I Would Rather Sacrifice You”, a song that never fails to but a big smile on my face.

7. The Future of the Left, Travels with Myself and Another. I have said many times that, all appearances to the contrary, I like more music than I dislike. A small subsection of music that I like is nasty, noisy stuff that almost no one else I know likes. Titus Andronicus comes to mind here, as does the Future of the Left, whose Travels with Myself and Another beat its way into my skull and won my heart last year with its pounding drums and Andy Falkous’s snarling vocals. Subjects range from girls who get off on hitting people (“Chin Music” will only be appropriate at a very small number of weddings:  “I only hit him ’cause he made me crazy/ I only hit him ’cause he made me mad/ she only hit him ’cause it gets her wet/ yeah, she’s one of a kind/ she’s got chin music”) to the practical concerns of Satanism (“You Need Satan More than He Needs You”). Travels with Myself and Another pretty much kicks ass, though it’s not for the faint of heart or the humorless.

6. Andrew Bird, Noble Beast. I guess #7 and #6 on my list are a study in contrast. Andrew Bird’s Noble Beast is an understated, mellow, and completely lovely work – his finest to date, if I may be so bold. It blends Bird’s myriad musical talents (no one on earth – no one – can whistle like this motherfucker) into quirky pop (“Fitz and the Dizzyspells”), old school folk (“Effigy,” which is nothing short of stunning), and whatever you’d classify “Not a Robot, But a Ghost” as. Some of the songs have unique movements, but they never seem to wander, even on the seven minute “Souverian.” Bird is a musician’s musician, a guy you can study as well as enjoy, and Noble Beast is the textbook for aspiring musical ninjas.

I know. It’s taken me four days into the new year to even start counting down my favorite albums of the old year and now I’m doing it in two parts. Pitchfork took a week to do their list and they still fucked it up, so maybe it’s better that I’m taking my time. I, for one, wholeheartedly endorse every choice I’ve made so far. Tune in tomorrow or Wednesday for albums 5 through 1, which are bound to include demure rodents, plenty of references to whiskey, a rant about shitty record labels, the best pop album of the year, the word vagina, and plenty of weather.

A Conversation with Sarah Palin About the Future of the Left

I got really excited when I heard Travels with Myself and Another by the Future of the Left for the first time. Here, finally, is a modern album that deserves to be classified as punk. Andy Falkous (who was in McLusky, a band I have never listened to) has found the ball that was dropped when Jello Biafra left the Dead Kennedys, picked it up, and ran off with it. In searching for someone with whom to share my excitement, I cast my net far and wide, seeking someone who doesn’t shy away from a strong opinion and who, more importantly, has nothing better to do. Finally, I settled on former Alaska governor Sarah Palin, who was gracious enough to join me for this conversation about the Future of the Left.

Bollocks!: Good morning, Governor. Or Former Governor, I guess. Anyway, good morning. Welcome to Los Angeles.

Sarah Palin: Hollywood needs to know: we eat, therefore we hunt.

Bollocks!: Okay. We’re in Van Nuys, but I’ll be sure to tell Hollywood the next time I’m down there. To be honest, I’m a little surprised that you agreed to do this, given your well-documented disdain for the media (of which I’m only barely a part) and the fact that I volunteered for the guy who handed you and John McCain your asses in last year’s election.

Palin: Don’t underestimate the wisdom of the people.

Bollocks!: Well said. So let’s talk about the Future of the Left. Travels with Myself and Another is the first I’ve heard of them. Have you listened to any of their other stuff? I know Andy Falkous was in McLusky, for instance.

Palin: He’s also known as The Maverick.

Bollocks!: Andy Falkous is known as the Maverick? Is that why you listened to his album? I noticed during the 2008 campaign that you seem to have a Maverick fetish.

Palin: That’s why John McCain tapped me…

Bollocks!: He what?

Palin: I’m all for contraception and I’m all for any preventative measures that are legal and safe.

Bollocks!: Fine, I guess. But too much information. Let’s talk about the Future of the Left…

Palin: You’re gonna see anti-hunting, anti-second amendment circuses from Hollywood.

Bollocks!: Perhaps I should be more specific. I meant the band the Future of the Left and their new album, Travels with Myself and Another. I think it’s one of maybe two or three truly decent punk albums of the last few years.

Palin: There is much good in store further down the road.

Bollocks!: You really think so? Or are you just saying that because Creed reunited?

Palin: They’re our next door neighbors.

Bollocks!: That makes sense in a perverse way. What did you think of Travels with Myself and Another?

Palin: I see the hand of God in this beautiful creation.

Bollocks!: You do? It strikes me as pretty secular album. How do you feel about the line in “The Hope that House Built” where Falkous sings, “Re-imagine God as just a mental illness”?

Palin: I think there’s a lot of mocking of my personal faith.

Bollocks!: Well, I don’t think Falkous was going after you personally –

Palin: This is not a man who sees America like you and I see America.

Bollocks!: That’s probably because he’s British.

Palin: We’re gonna do what we have to do to protect the United States of America.

Bollocks!: From the British? I think we were done doing that after the war of 1812. What was your favorite – or least favorite – thing about the Future of the Left record?

Palin: I think that’s been probably the most hurtful and nonsensical blast that we have taken. It’s been an embarrassment.

Bollocks!: Wow, you really took this album personally. Why?

Palin: We are facing tough challenges in America, with some seeming to just be hell-bent maybe on tearing down our nation, perpetuating some pessimism and suggesting American apologetics, suggesting perhaps that our best days were yesterdays.

Bollocks!: Um. “Apologetic” is an adjective. You just used it as a noun.

Palin: How ‘bout, in honor of the American soldier, ya quit makin’ things up?

Bollocks!: I assure you that “apologetic” is an adjective. And why would you bring up the troops in this discussion? Is it because it’s Veteran’s Day? Even if that’s the reason, what makes you think we honor our soldiers by speaking like fucking morons?

Palin: It will make us a more peaceful, prosperous, and secure nation.

Bollocks!: What will? Talking like idiots?

Palin: It should be so obvious to you.

Bollocks!: You’re not making sense. I know that’s kinda your thing, but you’re making less sense than usual today. Care to explain?

Palin: God is gonna tell you what is going on.

Bollocks!: Really? Okay. Let’s just sit here and wait for God to tell me what’s going on.

 

 

[HOURS LATER. MANY HOURS LATER]

Bollocks!: Still not getting anything. While we were waiting, though, I had the chance to listen the whole album again – twelve times – and I’m really struck by the sense of humor evident on it. It’s obviously angry and aggressive, but there are some laugh-out-loud lines, like “the night might hide my shame/ but shame won’t dry my balls” and “slight bowel movements preceded the bloodless coup.”

Palin: I have that within me also…

Bollocks!: What? A sense of humor? A slight bowel movement?

Palin: Things are perculating…

Bollocks!: I think you mean “percolating.” Do you need to use the restroom?

Palin: I believe I’m a heckuva lot better off putting my life in God’s hands.

Bollocks!: You can put your life wherever you want, but you’d better put your feces in the toilet. It’s just down the hall there.

Palin: That’s reckless.

Bollocks!: Placing your turds in the proper receptacle is reckless?

Palin: I haven’t spoken with anyone who disagrees with my position on that.

Bollocks!: You’re speaking to someone now who disagrees with your position on that. You’re not gonna crap on my rug, are you?

Palin: What I need to do is strike a deal with you guys…

Bollocks!: Look, there is no deal we can strike where I will let you drop a loaf on my floor. I rent this space, lady, and I hope to get my cleaning deposit back. Maybe we should wrap this up so you can go do your business elsewhere. Anything else you’d like to say about the Future of the Left?

Palin: I’m just so extremely proud of Track, my son… on his calf, he has a big ol’ Jesus fish.

Bollocks!: You’re son has a Jesus fish tattoo? Is that like the evangelical equivalent of the tramp stamp?

Palin: You’re absolutely right on.

Bollocks!: Great. Well, I’d like to thank you, Mrs. Palin, for stopping by and torturing the English language with me for a bit. Also, thanks for not pooping on my floor.

In retrospect, I guess we didn’t talk much about the Future of the Left in that interview, so let me just wrap up by saying that Travels with Myself and Another is an aggressive joy of an album and you should check it out if you were wondering what happened to all the good punk bands.